Where 'O Where, Have All the Referrals Gone?

I have been in the #2 spot for a referral of an infant girl for almost 12 weeks now. Last Monday, I finally called Angela at the agency to ask if there was any news on upcoming referrals. I was told it is now taking 4-6 months for a referral and 6-8 months total time to have your child home. I asked if this included me since I have already been waiting 11 weeks (at the time of the call), and she didn't know. At this point, I was told that Agitu (the director of the agency that is currently in Ethiopia) was working on one infant girl referral and it would be Holly's referral, as she in #1 in line. Part of me is devastated that I could be waiting another month or two for my referral. On the other hand, I can stop worrying everyday that I might miss "the call".

Another week has passed, and no referral for Holly. My agency has not had an infant girl referral since December 12th. At this rate, I think I might be traveling in June or July, but who really knows. Once I get my referral, it takes about a month to get a court date, which has been running about two months out from then. Then about a month later I can travel for Baby Girl. So much changed in the four months it took me to get my dossier in, who knows what the next four months have in store.

Another big concern is the status of adoptions by singles in Ethiopia. Most US agencies have stopped accepting singles or are limiting their single applicants to 3-10 per court year. I have a great concern that Ethiopia may close to singles all together and I will be shut out completely.

So, for now, I am in limbo. Some days, I am ok with the wait, and other days I could just scream. I remind myself daily of the Chinese story of The Red Thread.

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,

regardless of time, place, or circumstance.

The thread may stretch or tangle,but it will never break."

- an ancient Chinese belief