How I Grew My Family--Part 1

At the age of 18, I was told I would probably never conceive children. Having a large family was all I ever wanted. Of course, I assumed I would have the husband, cute house with a picket fence (just kidding), and the dog in the front yard (kidding again). Some how I missed out on the husband. At 26, I had my first child,Alec, a baby girl, and I was ecstatic!!! Over the years, I imagined our tidy little life, just the two of us. I never imagined anything else, until...

In the fall of 2000, my best friend, Jacky, and her husband were adopting twin boys from Russia. At her baby shower, she showed all of us the pictures of her boys. In the background of the photos were all these children sitting there, waiting for families. I was broken hearted for these children and all the other children in the world waiting for a family. I left the shower in tears (that is just the way I am when it comes to kids) and went straight to my parents house. I was telling my mom about all the kids and how it broke my heart. She said to me, "You have always wanted more kids, why don't you look into adopting." Yes, why didn't I? What a great idea!!

I immediately started researching different countries that were open to singles. I was drawn to Asian countries, as I have always had a love for Asian culture. I was open to Vietnam and China, but really didn't know how to decide. I had also looked at various agencies that facilitated adoptions from both countries. I was leaning towards FTIA out of Indiana because they seemed so open about all their fees and what was expected from each country.

This is where my belief in "things happen for a reason" comes in to play. I was working a double shift (I am a pediatric nurse at the local Children's hospital) when a family was admitted that had just come home with a daughter from China. I asked the family if I could speak to them about their adoption experience. They were very open to talking to me. They had used FTIA (I had FTIA's information packet in my bag) and loved them. They told me of a group for families that have adopted from China (FCC-Families wth Children from China) that was meeting the following Tuesday (this was a Friday), and invited me to come. So Tuesday night, I went to my first FCC meeting and before I left had found my agency, FTIA, and my homestudy agency, Cherub International.

During an international adoption, there are three entities you have to deal with: INS (now USCIS), your adoption agency, and your homestudy agency. The biggest part of the process is filing papers and collecting documents, this is referred to as "paper chasing". It is a royal pain, but easier for singles than married couples. By the time my friends returned from Russia, I was well on my way to adopting from China.

Fast forward to February, 2001. My dossier was in China, and I was expecting a 13 month wait for a referral of a baby girl. FTIA had "Waiting Family" meetings every two months to discuss adoption issues. At the last minute, I decided to drive the hour to the meeting one Saturday morning. FTIA had just received their first list of "Special Needs" children (I hate this term, and this program is now called "Waiting Children Program"-WCP). I had no interest in adopting a
"Special Needs" child, but wanted to see the kids, so I started looking through the 11 files they had. About half way through the pile, I saw a bald little baby in a stroller with an incredible smile and I stopped cold. This was my child!!! I just knew it. Her "special need" was she was missing part of her left arm--is this really a special need? I talked to the agency reps, and told them I wanted to adopt this child. And the rest is history. On October 21, 2001, I held Jian in my arms for the first time. It was love at first sight, and seven years later, that love has just grown more and more.

Stay tuned for Part 2